


Keeping Tally

by imissmaeberry



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nurse Dean, One-Sided Attraction, Pre-Med Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 03:04:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3192899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imissmaeberry/pseuds/imissmaeberry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt taken from Quinn Anderson's "With All My Heart", this idea is theirs:)<br/>In a world where people can tell how many people you’ve loved by looking at your wrists, Castiel’s bare skin is an oddity. People often tell him not to worry, “You’ll meet someone someday,” but the truth is, Castiel just wants to focus on his studies so that he can become a doctor.<br/>But a chance run-in at 3 in the morning with a certain freckle-cheeked nursing student may change things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeping Tally

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [With All My Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/719229) by [QuinnAnderson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuinnAnderson/pseuds/QuinnAnderson). 



> Hi guys, reposting and adding credit where credit is due! The "post" this was based on was actually a summary of QuinnAnderson's fic 'With All My Heart' without being credited to her:(  
> Sorry to anyone who bookmarked this/commented on it, and thank you to Rupi, who informed me of my transgression to begin with:)

Transferring schools definitely hadn’t been Castiel’s first choice, but his parents had insisted.

_We want you to be closer to home, dear. You were so far away, all the way out in Maine._

**_Yes, son, you’ll want family close by in case anything were to go wrong._ **

And since they were paying for his education, Castiel Novak hadn’t had much of a chance to disagree.

So that was how he found himself back in Kansas for the foreseeable future, in Lawrence to be exact. A decent enough distance Ulysses, where his parents lived, for him to warrant not going home every weekend (six whole hours).

Castiel didn’t have any problems with the school itself, of course, KU was a good school.

After all, classes hadn’t even started yet so he really shouldn’t have any issues at all.

So far, the only issue had been that everyone he passed had been staring at his wrists. His wrists, which were smooth and unmarred, atypical in the world’s love-driven society.

 

In a world where you receive a red tally on your wrist when you begin to fall in love, a black when the love is requited, and a blue when the love was no longer mutual, for Castiel’s wrists to be entirely clean as a sophomore in college was almost unheard of. For those who Castiel personally, it wasn’t really _that_ surprising. Not because Castiel was unloving or apathetic, he was just very determined and focused on hardly anything that wasn’t schoolwork. “I’ll never become a pediatrician if I don’t keep my grades up.”

“Whatever you say, Castiel.” Was the typical response from his friends.

He had just finished bringing the last of his things to his room and stood looking at the pile of things on his bed when there was a loud knock on the door. He jumped a bit, surprised – he had a single so it wasn’t like he was waiting on his roommate and he didn’t know anyone who went to school here – and opened the door, revealing a short girl with long, brown curls and a smirk on her face.

“Heya, kid. Name’s Meg. I’m your RA, so technically I’m here to tell you not to do anything _too_ shitty, don’t deface anything, yadda yadda. You’re not a freshman, so I’m assuming you know the whole deal already. So what’s with the single? You afraid of people or somethin?”

Castiel looked at her blankly. “Er, no, I’m not afraid of people. I just prefer to be alone, left to my studies.”

Meg glanced past him and into the room, taking note of the vast number of books scattered across Castiel’s desk. “I see that. What are you here for, anyway?”

“I’m a biology major, geared towards pre-med.”

“Figures. So I guess I’ll see you around, kid. Let me know if you need anything. But do me a favor and try not to need anything.” And with that she was gone, off to the next dorm to give the same speech. Castiel stood in his doorway for a few moments, watching people pass through the hallways, laden with dollies and bins and other things, getting ready to start the year. He closed the door and turned to face his own things, still strewn about his small room.

He started unpacking, and by the time he was finished, the clock on his computer screen told him it was nearly seven. Grabbing his ID, Castiel made his way down the hall and through the communal kitchen, similar to the one on each floor. He could smell chocolate, and something else he couldn’t quite place other than that it was sweet, and took another deep whiff before walking the rest of the way to the stairs and down to the lobby. _Someone must be baking cookies,_ he thought, shoving his hands in his pockets and trying to remember which way it was to the cafeteria.

After being pointed in the right direction, Castiel finally made his way to the dining hall closest to his hall, Mrs. E’s. He presented his ID to the man working the register. The man looked down at Castiel’s hand as he took the card to swipe it, and hesitated a bit when he noticed his wrists.

“Don’t worry son, I’m sure you’ll find someone someday.” The man said, a kind smile on his face as he handed Castiel’s ID back to him. Castiel only sighed and walked past the man and towards the section of Mrs. E’s labelled “The Copper Oven”, standing in line behind several others to get a few slices of pizza before finding a place to sit. He glanced around the hall a few times before spotting a small booth in the back corner where he could sit.

He enjoyed maybe a few minutes to himself, quietly chewing his food and checking his email on his phone before someone plopped into the empty seat across from him. Castiel looked up, alarmed, and looked into the face of a young blonde woman. “Hey, I’m Jo. I saw you were sittin’ alone and figured I’d invite you to come sit with my friends and me.”

Castiel blushed. “I, uh, sure. Thank you very much.” He picked up his plate and followed Jo back to a circular table where there was a few other students sitting. They all waved and shouted their hellos over the din in the hall. “Okay everybody, this is – what did you say your name was?”

“Castiel Novak.”

“This is Castiel. Castiel, this is Anna, Charlie, Kevin, Ash, Ruby, and Benny.” Jo pointed to two red-headed girls, the first in a blue KU t-shirt with a nametag denoting that she was an RA, the other in a black shirt adorned with the emblem of Hogwarts. Next was a young Asian boy with books spread out in front of him, the next boy a mullet and a computer in front of his face, the girl next to him had long, dark brown hair and full lips, and the last boy a beard and kind eyes. The last boy, Benny, pulled out the chair next to him, motioning for Castiel to sit next to him.

“So, Castiel,” Benny drawls, and Castiel notes that he is _definitely_ not from Kansas. “Where’re you from? What’re you here for? Tell us your whole story, bud.”

Chuckling a bit before replying, he says, “I’m from Ulysses. I’m a sophomore pre-med, and I just transferred here from the University of Maine. My parents wanted me to be closer to home.”

They all nodded. “I get that. I live in Wichita, and my mom really wanted me to stay home and commute to the KU campus there, but I wanted at least be _somewhat_ out of town.” Ruby supplied, taking a sip from her soda.

Castiel nodded. “Yes. Exactly. I was trying to get as far from my family as possible. Especially far away from Ulysses. It’s such a small town, everyone knows everyone and everyone knows that I don’t have any tallies.”

Collectively, the table’s eyes widened. “Really?” Charlie asked, incredulous. “Can we, I mean, do you mind showing us?”

Castiel shrugged. While this wasn’t the most comfortable subject for him, he _had_ been the one to bring it up, even if only to get it out of the way. He held both wrists up, palms facing outwards so that his new friends could see the blank expanse of his arms.

“Wow,” Jo muttered. “I’ve never met anyone our age without any tallies. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.”

Ash, who had looked up from his computer screen to see Castiel’s wrists, said, “You should meet Dean.” and went back to whatever he was doing.

“Who’s Dean?” Castiel asked.

His friends then began to regale him with tales of Dean, the nursing student and close friend.

 

Ruby and Charlie walked back to McCollum with Castiel after the group had decided to go their separate ways. They were on the floor below him, as roommates. They walked through the lobby and stood before the elevators, where Ruby pressed the up button and they waited for it to reach them. The doors opened and they walked in, pressing the buttons for their respective floors. Ruby turned to Charlie, asking, “Do you think Dean’s got any cookies?”

Charlie shrugged. “Dunno. We can stop by and ask. Do you wanna come with, Castiel? We’ll introduce you to Dean-o.”

“Maybe another time. I want to get my things ready for classes this week. I have a Monday/Wednesday/Friday 8 am, and a Tuesday/Thursday 9 am, plus classes throughout the day.”

The girls both shrugged. “Alrighty, well good luck with that, man.” Charlie said as they left the elevator. “See you tomorrow maybe?”

“Maybe. Goodbye.” Castiel waved as the doors shut and brought him up to his own floor.

 

Over the next few weeks Castiel’s life continued in a pattern of sorts. Get up early, get some coffee and something to eat, go to class, eat lunch with his friends, either go to another class or head back to his dorm until dinner, hang out with his friends for a little while, then back to his dorm to study and sleep, repeat.

He had yet to meet the elusive Dean, who apparently was only available when Castiel was in class or studying.

 

It was about a month and a half into the semester when the whole baking fiasco began.

Several nights a week, Castiel was woken up in the middle of the night by the smell of cookies and the sound of the oven timer beeping. Because his dorm was directly next to the kitchen on their floor, he typically heard everything everyone was doing in the kitchen. The first few times it had happened, Castiel had simply groaned and rolled over, falling asleep as fast as he could.

After the next few times, he decided to invest in ear plugs. Unfortunately, as he soon found out, the ear plugs didn’t work.

 

_beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep_

“You have got to be kidding me.” Castiel flung himself angrily from the bed and tore out of his room and to the kitchen, where he was met with the back of some guy who was pulling a tray of cookies out of the oven.

“Look, I don’t know what your deal is, or why you’re baking cookies at _fucking three in the morning,_ but every time that timer goes off it wakes me up and I have an 8 am and I just –”

Castiel cut himself off when the other boy whipped around, a blush on his freckled cheeks.

“Oh, shit, man, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was in that room. I have the room on the other side so I didn’t think I was bothering anyone. I’m just…” The boy rubbed the back of his head. “I’m kind of a nervous baker. So the last few weeks I haven’t been able to sleep so I just come in here and bake cookies and then I give them to people.”

Castiel didn’t know what to say. He was stunned by how _hot_ this guy was. “I, um, it’s not _that_ big of a problem, I really should have said something sooner. I apologize.”

“No, man, I’m sorry, the least I could have done was offer you some cookies for waking you up. I mean, I tried to, but every time I tried knocking on your door you must not’ve been home. That’s why I didn’t think anyone was in there.” He thought for a moment. “Now that I’m thinking about it, it was usually around 9 when I stopped by.” Freckled-cheeks stuck his hand out for Castiel to shake, saying, “I’m Dean, by the way. Dean Winchester. Sophomore, nursing major.”

“Castiel Novak, sophomore pre-med bio major.” Castiel took his hand and couldn’t help but shudder at the feeling of his hand in Dean’s.

“Oh, I know who you are,” Dean said, blushing. “You, uh, you’re in my anatomy and physiology class on Tuesdays and Thursdays at eleven. You’re like, crazy smart, man. I sit way in the back though, it’s not that surprising you didn’t notice me.”

Slowly, Castiel’s brain caught up with the situation. “Wait. Dean? Like Jo and Charlie’s friend Dean?”

“Well, I don’t know how many Deans they know, so I’m gonna go ahead and say yes.” Dean plucked two cookies off the plate and handed one to Castiel. “You aren’t allergic to peanuts, are you?”

“No, I’m not. But your friends have been trying to introduce us for nearly the entire semester. Our schedules just didn’t work out, I suppose.” As he took the cookie, it was then that he noticed the immense amount of bracelets on Dean’s wrists.

Several were the woven kind that had been popular in high school, others seemed to be the band variety, and others still looked like old county fair bracelets, the kind you buy when you want to rid _all_ the rides. The skin of his wrists was hidden.

They stood there quietly for a few moments, silently chewing. “So, um, I guess I’ll let you get back to bed, you don’t wanna be too tired for your 8 am. I’m gonna stay here and clean up and then I’ll probably go back to bed. I’m lucky, you know, my first class isn’t until noon.”

Castiel nodded. “Yes…I probably should get to sleep.” He agreed, despite wanting nothing more than to stay here with Dean. He picked at the hem of his shirt for a moment. “Goodnight, Dean.”  
“Night, Cas.”

 

Castiel had trouble getting back to sleep that night. He tossed and turned for quite some time more than he usually did, and by the time he did fall asleep, it was nearly five and his alarm was set for seven.

Groaning when the incessant beeping woke him, Castiel drug himself out of bed and down to the bathrooms to shower. The shower definitely helped to wake him up, but he was beginning to consider buying a small coffeepot to keep in his dorm so that he could have _at least_ one cup upon waking. As he was leaving his dorm for class, he passed through the kitchen and noticed a plate sitting on the counter, adorned with a sticky note with his name on it. Realizing they were the cookies Dean had made last night, he quickly stowed the plate in his dorm before continuing on his way to class.

Getting through his class was tortuous, moreso than usual. He was thankful his next class wasn’t until one o’clock, and so made his way to Mrs. E’s for lunch with Charlie and Benny, the only ones who either weren’t in class or still sleeping at 10:45 when his class got out.

After getting his food he made his way to the table they usually sat at and was pleasantly surprised to see Dean sitting next to Charlie. Dean looked up from his plate and his entire face brightened when he saw Castiel coming towards them. He put a hand up and waved, smile consuming his face.

“Heya, Cas!” he said as Castiel sat down next to him.

“Hello, Dean. Were you able to sleep well last night?” The brunette asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Dean nodded. “Yeah man, slept like a baby. Did you? Oh, did you see the cookies I left for you? I-I mean I saw that they were gone, but I wasn’t sure if anyone else had maybe gotten to them, ya know?”

Cas nodded. “Yes, I did get them, thank you, Dean. Actually, I didn’t sleep very well last night. It took a very long time for me to fall back to sleep.”

Charlie and Benny just stared at the two of them. “Now when did y’all two get all familiar? Last I knew y’all didn’t even know each other.”

Dean blushed a bit, freckles on his cheeks standing out much like they had the night before. “Well, you know how I’ve been stress-baking since Sammy’s away? Well it turns out every time the alarm would go off it would wake Cas up. Last night he came out to give me a piece of his mind. But we’re cool now, right Cas?”

Castiel nodded. “Yes, we are cool. It turns out the asshole I was telling you about, the one using the oven in the middle of the night, was Dean all along.”

Charlie and Benny looked at each other, then at Dean, then Castiel before shrugging. “Eh, whatever. Glad you two hit it off, I guess.” Charlie commented before turning back to her own meal.  
“So who all is going home for Thanksgiving? Anyone?” Dean asked.

Castiel shook his head. “My parents wanted me to, but I told them I had an important project I had to work on and I could only do it here. They fought it originally, but I told them the project was vital to getting into a good medical school. I just didn’t want to go home. All my aunts and uncles and grandparents asking about school and why I _still_ don’t have any tallies. It’s horrific.”

Dean stared at him. “You don’t have _any_ tallies? I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t have tallies.”

Charlie smacked Dean in the chest. “Dean what the hell that’s so rude, just because you’ve got enough tallies for a whole town –”

“ _Charlie._ ” Dean hissed, hiding his wrists reflexively, his entire body flaring with a flush.

She immediately clapped her hands over her mouth. “Dean, I’m so sorry, it just came out, I-I…”

“It’s okay.” He whispered. “I should probably get going. See ya later, guys.” He stood and walked away, leaving Castiel, Charlie and Benny at the table.

“Does he really have so many?” Castiel asked, “Is that why he hides his wrists?”

Charlie nodded. “Dean is a very, ah, loving guy, so to speak. He falls for people very quickly and very easily. As a result, he has a lot of tallies. Not that it’s bad, but he gets about as much shit as you do for not having any. Or he used to, anyway. That’s why he’s got quite the bracelet collection.” She held out her own wrist, showing her own tallies – two red, one blue, and one black. “Four to seven is the average range of tallies for people our age, generally because it’s around this age we find who we want to settle down with.”

Benny held out his own wrists, displaying two blue tallies and a scar. Castiel looked up at Benny for a moment, noting the sorrow in his eyes.

“What happened to them, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Benny sighed. “My senior year, I was dating the love of my life. I knew in my heart I was gonna marry this girl, Cas. Her name was Andrea. One night, she was driving home, and it was a real bad storm, and she started hydroplaning…she ran off the road and didn’t make it.”

Similar to the feeling of having your heart wrenched out, the death of a lover caused the tally to disappear – robbed of the body just like the lover was robbed of the world.

A somber silence hung between them. Finally, Benny stood, sighing, “I gotta get to class. I’ll see you guys later.”

Castiel checked his phone for the time – 12:45. “Yeah, I should probably get going too.” Charlie nodded and joined them as they all left the hall and the sorrowful conversation behind them.

 

It was a week or so before Cas saw Dean again, outside of their class together. He was in the library, studying. Cas had come in to return a book, and he’d noticed Dean sitting at a table, hunched over a slew of notebooks and a textbook. He walked over and sat down, although he’d previously had no intentions of studying – at least not in the library.

“Hello, Dean,” he whispered, jumping at the same time Dean did.

“Shit, man, way to sneak up on me. What’s up?”

“I came to return a book. What are you studying?”

Dean groaned. “I’m just trying to get ready for finals a little early. They’re like, _right_ when we come back after Thanksgiving. Hey, that reminds me. I know you said last week that you’re not going home for Thanksgiving. Everybody else is, so I was wondering if you wanted to hang with me while everyone’s gone? I’m not going home either. My brother’s doing a study abroad this year so my parents are taking a second honeymoon since we’re both gone. We can like study, or whatever.”

Castiel smiled and Dean just melted. “I’d like that a lot, Dean. Will you make me more cookies?” Dean chuckled softly. “Of course I will, Cas.”

 

They spent the majority of their break in Cas’ room, “cause you’ve got a bigger bed, man, it’s more comfortable for the two of us,” watching TV and eating Cas’ snacks and the cookies Dean had made.

“Cas,” Dean said on the night before Thanksgiving, “why don’t you have any tallies?”

Cas sighed. They were laying on his bed together, having just finished watching the third movie in the Fast and Furious series. Dean had insisted they marathon them upon finding out Castiel hadn’t seen any of them.

“I just didn’t really have any time for anything like that in high school. I was homeschooled up until my freshman year of high school, and at that point I was the awkward kid who spoke unlike the rest of my peers, so I had very few friends. Not to forget that the town itself is immensely conservative and homophobic, so it was very hard to fall in love with someone who would have hated me if they knew I was gay. And then last year, in Maine I just…I was so happy to have solace from my family that I spent a majority of my time alone. And so…no tallies.”

It was quiet when he finished speaking, save for the music playing as the movie credits rolled.

“I’m happy I get to spend Thanksgiving with you, Cas. I love my family, but they can be a bit much sometimes. Plus, I see them all the time, since I live in Lawrence and all.”

Cas smiled. “I’m happy as well, Dean. Now, let’s get to studying.”

 

As the holiday and the next week went on, Dean and Cas spent a lot of time together, despite that time being spent almost entirely in silence unless one of them asked the other a question.

Once finals were over, everyone hurried to get their things packed and go home for their winter break. Cas was in the middle of packing his movies when a knock sounded at the door.

“Hello, Dean. Are you ready to go home?”

 _No,_ Dean was thinking spitefully, _because I won’t see you for over a month._ “Yeah, I guess. I’m never really _not_ home, you know? And I’m not really moving much of my stuff. Just taking some clothes home. So, listen, Cas, I was thinking…” Dean sucked in a deep breath and let it out. “I was wondering, since you said you felt so uncomfortable when you’re at home, if you wanna come stay with me for the holidays you’re more than welcome to. I mean, I’m sure you’ll have to stay through Christmas, but anytime after that – or even before, if anything happens – feel free to come over, and you can stay with us until the new semester starts.”

Castiel was dumbstruck. “Thank you, Dean. That’s a very generous offer I might have to take you up on. You will most definitely see me once Christmas is over. I’ll text you more about it later, alright? I really do have to get going, my parents are unfortunately expecting me to be home for supper.” He grimaced, and Dean couldn’t help but think that Castiel was still beautiful, regardless.

“Awesome! Alright, well, I let you finish packing. Do you need any help taking shit down to your car? I’m pretty much set.”

Cas nodded. “Yes, thank you Dean.” He smiled.

Dean helped his friend – his heart panged slightly at the word – finish packing, and then helped him bring his things down. Before Cas could get in the car and drive off, Dean hastily pulled him into an unexpected hug. “Have a good Christmas, Cas. I’ll see you soon. Don’t forget to text me.”

“I won’t, Dean. You have a merry Christmas as well.”

 

Just as Cas had expected, his Christmas had entailed a copious amount of his family, old aunties and his grandmothers inspecting his wrists and ‘tsk’ing him, giving him lecture upon lecture on the idea that ‘you may love a hundred times and have a hundred tallies, but that is better than to have no love and no tallies’. He wondered if they’d say that if they saw Dean’s wrists and all his tallies. The only thing that kept him going was the promise of the road trip to Dean’s in the morning.

He’d managed to convince his parents to let him stay with Dean for the remainder of the semester by saying that it would make moving in easier. Plus, he reminded his parents, it was good for him to spend time with his friends, as he had had none not so long ago.

The night ended with his family leaving and the house seemed eerily quiet without the incessant chatter of distant relatives he hardly knew. Cas lay in bed, having just shot Dean a text about ‘Merry Christmas, I’ll be over tomorrow afternoon!’ He was tired from having spent the entire day surrounded by people. He fell asleep just as his phone buzzed from the other side of the room.

 

Dean’s Christmas was spent in a similar, but much happier fashion. They had skyped with Sammy that morning, who was spending his year in London and wouldn’t be back until the summer. After that, Jo and her parents, who were long-time family friends, came over to open presents and eat lunch. Later in the afternoon Dean’s grandparents arrived, hauling more presents and love into their home. They all laughed and laughed at Jo and Dean’s stories from school, and at Mary and Ellen’s stories from the hospital, and John and Bobby’s stories from the mechanic’s. After dinner, everyone had gathered in the living room to watch Christmas specials until dessert, and after that everyone made their way home. Dean lay on his own bed, rubbing his hands underneath his bracelets and against his wrists. He felt the bump of his most recent tally, and almost comically, his phone buzzed, alerting him to Cas’ text.

He smiled down at the screen fondly, responding with ‘merry Christmas cas J can’t wait to see you’ and setting his phone down on his night stand.

 

Castiel’s arrival at the Winchester household went over smoothly. Mary and John were happy to have another kid in the house, especially considering the looks they saw Dean giving Cas when the latter student wasn’t looking. They spent their days lounging around the house while Dean’s parents were at work, talking about their plans for after they graduated – Dean would apply to work at nearby hospitals, Cas would apply to medical schools – and about the upcoming semester.

 

“So Jo, Charlie, Ruby and Ash will all be here for New Year’s. Benny’s back in Louisiana for break and his mom took him on a cruise so he won’t be back until classes start.”

Cas nodded as Dean spoke, thinking to himself about the activities planned for the evening. Dean’s parents had agreed to let them drink, so long as they all stayed in the house. Castiel had never really drank before, other than a single glass of wine at big family dinners, and whenever he’d been invited to a party, he’d always given the same excuse, “I would love to, however, I have homework to do and an 8 am tomorrow morning. Maybe next time.” But tonight would be different, he could feel it. He was going to get drunk with his friends and spend the next day complaining of a hangover, “letting loose” as Dean put it.

The night passed by with copious amounts of drinking, and Cas found that he was quite the heavyweight – he outdrank both Dean and Jo, whom had both claimed to be ‘drinking masters’. By five minutes to midnight, Cas really only felt a tad fuzzy, but otherwise in control of himself. He was aware that Dean had saddled up to his side and was murmuring things Castiel couldn’t hear, a smile on his face and a blush on his cheeks.

Castiel couldn’t help but think of how beautiful Dean looked like this, blissed out and smiling. His heart clenched. Suddenly everyone was yelling, counting down the last few seconds of the year.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” They yelled together, and suddenly everyone was _kissing._ Ruby and Charlie, Ash and Jo(Cas could easily say he hadn’t seen _that_ coming), and suddenly the warmth that had been at his side manifested itself in his lap, and there was Dean, smiling and beautiful and looking down at Cas like nothing else mattered, and Cas’ chest _ached_ with how stupid he had been, and reached up and grabbed Dean’s face in his hands, pulling their lips together.

He felt Dean smile wider against his mouth before responding in earnest, arms coming around Cas’ neck and pulling him closer. Dean licked at Cas’ lip, and before they knew it they were both struggling for breath, foreheads touching and panting. There was a small pinch at Cas’ left wrist, but he was so lost in the sensation he missed it.

“Wanted _…_ to do that for… _so long_ , Cas…”

Castiel kissed him again.  

 

The next morning, or rather afternoon, found them sprawled together on the couch, hands entwined. Dean’s mother woke them with coffee and pancakes, and received appreciative groans in response.  
“Dean,”

“Yeah Cas,”

“I need my hand to eat. May I have it back?”  
“Nope.”

Sighing, Castiel brought their hands up onto the counter at which they sat. Dean rubbed his thumb absentmindedly against Cas’ wrist before he paused, rubbing his thumb against this one _spot_ and lifting his hand.

There was a single black tally on Castiel’s left wrist. Dean’s hand dropped as he turned to look at Castiel, mouth gaping.  
“But when – I would have noticed – who _is he, Cas why would you kiss me when you’re in love with someone else_ –?”

The brunette sighed and gripped Dean’s hand. “ _Dean._ Have you looked at your own wrist lately?”

Dean let go of his hand and pulled up the bracelets on his right wrist, revealing a black tally at the end of a long line of red ones. Dean looked up at him, amazed. “Cas, I…”

“I love you too, Dean.”


End file.
